Get Prepared
NEW MOM DIARY VOL. IV: THE SECOND MONTH
By Jackie Weiss
Our tiny little infant, at her two-month birthday, is not so little
anymore. At her doctor's appointment yesterday, Daphne tipped the
scales at fourteen pounds, which puts her somewhere above the 97th
percentile for weight. I knew she had a larger-than-average appetite.
At first glance, much of her bulk appears concentrated in her cheeks,
but she also sports not-unsubstantial thighs and a belly that befits a
small Buddha.
In the last month she has become considerably
more interactive, making eye contact, regarding objects with curiosity,
and flashing a beautiful smile at solicitous admirers. She is still
waking up during the night, but now only once in an eight-hour period
(it used to be every three hours during the night, "like a broken
clock", as my husband put it.) I hope that she will start sleeping
through the night before the end of my maternity leave, or going back
to work is going to be not only emotionally challenging, but physically
draining as well.
I am not excited about the prospect of going
back to work, particularly since the second month of being a mom has
been much more enjoyable than the first month. For one thing, Daphne
can amuse herself for longer periods now, allowing me time to shower
and dress in the morning, or take care of some paperwork in the
afternoon, without having to leave her crying in her crib. Also, we
have made friends with some other moms and newborns in the
neighborhood, which alleviates the isolation I felt early on.
As
it turns out, it's pretty easy to meet new mothers and their babies.
During Daphne's sixth week we attended a mother and baby yoga class at
a local child birthing center in an effort to make friends. After the
class ended I dawdled, taking much longer than necessary to get my
sneakers on, strap Daphne into her carriage, review the schedule of
upcoming classes. I felt like Marcia Brady on her first day of high
school. Finally, one of the mothers approached me and asked if Daphne
and I would like to be part of a neighborhood playgroup she was
organizing. Score! (I hate yoga -- now I wouldn't have to go back to
the class.) We have attended the playgroup for the past three weeks,
and even though none of the kids are old enough to interact in the
slightest, the mothers all show up diligently, glad for the social
outlet. Everyone seems to agree that early motherhood can be a lonely,
difficult business, and all attest to having felt unprepared and
overwhelmed during their first weeks or months. If you are a new mother
and are struggling, you are not the only one.
The major stress
in my life at the moment is finding a full time babysitter before my
maternity leave runs out. I have been slow to attend to this task,
which I have come to think of as analogous to looking for an apartment
to rent in Manhattan. The stakes in the search are high, and you must
weed out a lot of uninspiring options before you find the right one.
All the choices are very expensive. Day care options for infants are
limited in our area, and do not offer enough hours to suit our needs.
So Greg and I have combed local classifieds for babysitters and have
sought referrals from people we know. The fact that the economy is weak
means that there are a lot of candidates out there -- we have
interviewed around ten already. Our goal is to make an offer to someone
by the end of the week.
The relief of having the process done with will likely be mitigated
by the gathering shadow of the return to work. The old adage about
leaving the party while you're still having fun probably applies here.
Every day I feel more that Daphne and I are hitting our stride. Her
schedule is getting predictable enough that we can get our errands and
tasks accomplished, and still have time to see friends and family and
enjoy each other.
Work, when it is going well, provides a different kind of gratification
that I might ultimately miss, but I can't say that I do yet. Mostly
what I wish is that my job allowed me to return part-time -- even a
daily nine-to-five schedule would be considerably more palatable than
my normal hours, which are more like seven in the morning to around
seven or eight at night, on average. My challenge when I return is
going to be figuring out how to do my job effectively in somewhat fewer
hours, or perhaps the same hours but with some of them put in at home
instead of at the office. We'll see how this goes, when the time comes.
That time is drawing near.
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About The Author
Jackie Weiss is a regular contributor to Your Baby Today.
