When you bring home a newborn, you not only receive a giant outpouring of love from well-meaning friends and family, you're also deluged with lots of advice on how to manage things. You've probably heard a few of them -- sleep when the baby sleeps, establish visiting hours -- dozens of times. And while this is good advice, we wanted to hear some more tips from moms about what really helped make the first weeks more manageable. Here's what they said:
Stock up on nutritious meals These days, most grocery stores offer an assortment of wholesome frozen or prepared food items, like soups, baked chickens, and light gourmet meals. So load up before your due date or send someone out to pick up a last-minute meal once the baby is born. "We bought lots of finger foods like chicken nuggets and veggies that I could eat while nursing or holding the babies," says Stacy Lu, a mother of two in Allendale, New Jersey. If you love to cook, whip up larger-than-usual batches of food before your due date and freeze them. If you'd rather get take-out, start amassing menus from local restaurants that will deliver affordable, healthy fare before you give birth.
Send out an SOS "I accepted any help offered and asked for it when I felt overwhelmed," says Marcia Smith, a New York City mother of two. To make things even easier, Smith suggests enlisting a friend to recruit your helpers if you need assistance; this way, you don't have to make loads of phone calls and deal with the logistics. If possible, schedule visitors ready to lend a hand -- ones who'll pick up groceries or fold a load of laundry -- before you give birth.
Stash bottled water around the house Elizabeth Brice, a Pleasanton, California mother of two knew she'd need to drink lots of water while nursing, but wanted to minimize trips to the refrigerator. "I didn't want to get settled to breastfeed and then have to get up again when I got thirsty," she says. So she strategically placed bottles anywhere she expected to be feeding: next to the sofa, in the baby's room, on her nightstand. Every few days, she or her husband replenished the supply.
Be a groupie The conjoined feelings of new-mom glee and misery both love company, so seek out others in the same boat. Ask your doctor or midwife for suggestions on finding a mother's group, or set up a reunion among parents in your birthing class. "Support from other people in similar situations is really helpful when you're tired and new at the baby experience," says Olive Thaler, a San Francisco mother of one.
Channel your inner couch potato "I was up all hours giving my son his bottle," says Dawn Ham-Kucharski, a Canton, Michigan mother of one. "I was always tired and after a while, being up when everyone else was asleep got boring, too." To make the night shift more bearable, she rented silly slapstick movies and popped them into the VCR while she fed the baby. Comedies were especially suited for the job, Ham-Kucharski says, because they required little concentration and made her laugh through the fatigue.
Indulge yourself Therapists routinely advise clients to pamper themselves when they're going through a hard time. Caring for a new baby certainly qualifies as a challenge, so reward yourself periodically. You don't have to break the bank by going on a daily shopping spree, but splurging on something small -- a new tube of lipstick or a gossip magazine to flip through at feeding time -- can give you a boost when you need it. "I bought myself snakeskin boots to make myself feel better in those early postpartum days when all my clothes just didn't fit and I felt exhausted all the time," says Linda Murray, a San Francisco mother of one.
Hire professionals In the first month or two, your baby should be your only major responsibility. It takes time, after all, to get the hang of being a mom. That may mean taking your laundry to the cleaners, hiring a gardener to tend to your back yard, or depending on a cleaning service to scrub the toilets, even if it feels decadent. "We just put aside extra money to pay for housekeeping for at least a month or two," says Mollee Olenick, an Irvine, California mother of one. "It was worth it not having to worry about cleaning the house on top of everything else, too."
Give in to tears If you're having a particularly difficult day and you've tried everything else, cry it out. Ham-Kucharski, remembers being unable to pacify her son and says it helped to wail while he did, too. "It didn't quiet him down, but at least I felt better afterwards," she says.
S. Jhoanna Robledo is a New York City freelance journalist and mother of two. She frequently writes about parenting, women's health and fitness, and children's issues.
