JOYFUL HOLIDAYS WITH BABY
By Helen Zelon
One of parenthood's great joys is celebrating baby's first holiday season. Candles sparkle a little brighter now, and the pine boughs smell even more pungent. But the season can mean extra demands, too, with lots of socializing, family visits, and travel away from home. For tips on keeping joy in the holidays (and keeping stress out), parenting advocate and author Armin Brott -- the father of three daughters, aged 14, 11, and 19 months -- shared his practical insights.
Set the ground rules. "One of the big holiday minefields for new parents is all the commotion that comes with lots of family running around," says Brott. "If 25 people pick up the baby, it can be a big concern -- and very upsetting to baby." To avoid overloading baby's sensitive circuits, establish good times for hands-on family visits, and preserve islands of quiet time for naps, meals, and just being together. Be sure to recognize everyone's good intentions in their desire to get to know the family's newest member, but set the limits you think are right. You're the parent; make the choices that are best for your family.
Speak with one voice. There's not much more embarrassing than squabbling with your spouse in front of your in-laws. As much as possible, try to anticipate any 'free advice' family members may offer and think through your response as a couple. That way, when Aunt Sarah says, "My babies all ate meat before they could crawl, and they all grew up just fine," neither you nor your spouse are put on the spot, worrying out loud whether you're shortchanging your breast-fed baby. "Couples should talk about issues that need to be resolved," says Brott, noting that sleep is a frequent point of intergenerational conflict. The better you prepare yourselves for well-intentioned challenges, the more likely you are to have a good time together.
Keep your expectations realistic. "The more open you can be, the better," says Brott. That means excusing your baby from plans to go shopping at 10, visit Santa at noon, have lunch out, and run errands until late afternoon. "Try to have as few time-sensitive commitments as possible," Brott advises, and don't schedule outings or activities for times you know baby will be asleep or very tired. Even though the desire to be with the extended family is strong, "it's ok not to be together all the time."
Stay flexible on the road. You may have a schedule at home, but if you're away for the holidays, don't expect to maintain it. "Take a deep breath and realize that, for a little while, baby's in charge," says Brott. "On the road, sleep goes by the wayside, eating goes by the wayside, and you have to cater more to baby than you would at home." Pushing a baby through transitions like getting dressed, waking from a deep sleep, or into and out of meals or feedings "translates to more fussy behavior, and more night-time wakeups." So don't worry if baby skips her nightly bath or rejects her beloved oatmeal. You'll find your way back into your family rhythm once you're home again.
Have a list. "Everyone says they want to help," says Brott, "but sometimes they just want to play with the baby." For family who really want to pitch in, have a list at the ready, and don't be shy about asking. Need the laundry done? A meal prepared? Someone to watch baby while you take a bath -- or a nap? People who want to help will be delighted to have a job to do, and derive tremendous satisfaction by contributing to your peace of mind.
Focus on the big picture. Set aside the minutiae of baby care, for a while at least, and experience the wonder of being part of a family. "It's a ridiculously amazing thing, and a tremendous opportunity, to have this new life in your hands," says Brott. "Your baby can bring people closer together," he adds, giving you a chance to see your parents and extended family in a new light.
Choose pleasure. Baby's first holidays come only once in her little lifetime. Enjoy her delight in crumpling gift wrap or padding around the dining room. Take a little breather from the holiday whirl in favor of simpler, deeper pleasures -- your baby's belly laugh, a grandmother's contented sigh, a young nephew's shy tenderness with his newest cousin. Far more than expensive gifts and elaborate meals, these moments are the true treasure of the season.
Make sure your baby's formula is as safe as it is nutritious.
Gaining too much or too little could be problematic.
Precautions to take to protect baby's skin.
The content on these pages is provided as general information only and should not be substituted for the advice of your physician.
Copyright © 2008 Studio One Networks. All rights reserved.