NEW MOM DIARY VOL. V: MID-YEAR REPORT

By Jackie Weiss

My last column contained a few cliffhangers. Would Daphne learn to sleep through the night before Jackie had to go back to work? Would Jackie find a suitable full-time babysitter in time? I am happy to report that the answers to these questions were yes and yes. First, at around 9 1/2 weeks Daphne, who had achieved 5 straight hours at a stretch up to that point, started adding an hour per night of sleep. At first we thought it was a fluke. She slept 6 hours! A personal record! She went 7! A week later she hit 11 hours and there was no turning back. One should not underestimate what a major turning point it is in a new parent's life for the baby to start sleeping through the night. How gracious of Daphne to achieve this before my maternity leave ended and I was actually required to be alert and interact with adults during the day.

As for the babysitter, the interviewing and hiring process was something I anticipated with dread. What if I didn't like anyone we met? Who would want our job anyway, given the long hours we required (up to 12 hours a day, starting at 7 in the morning) and would anyone actually be willing to work on the books, as we required? (Never know when you might get nominated for federal office. Better to keep your nose clean.) For prospects we relied on a local weekly newspaper called the Irish Echo, which I had never heard of before but quickly learned was the place that all prospective nannies, Irish or not (most often from the Caribbean) placed and searched for classified ads.

While I cannot report enjoying the screening and interviewing process, I did feel that Greg and I had become skilled at it by the time we hired someone (the entire process took about two weeks.) For those about to embark on a nanny search, here are some basic principles that we found helpful: First, do your screening on the phone. I found it depressing to meet candidates in person who were obviously wrong for the job. When I spoke to candidates on the phone, I began by introducing myself and describing the position fully, emphasizing the parts that some might find troublesome. In our case these included the long hours, the early start time, and the fact that we wanted someone with a green card. Lots of candidates opted out over the phone when they heard about these. Then there were the people who sounded qualified in their ads, but seemed flaky or inarticulate on the phone. If I knew I didn't want to meet the person, I told them that we had a lot of candidates that we were considering (this was true - I probably spoke to 60 people during our search) and I might give them a call if I other candidates didn't work out. In most cases I phoned promising-sounding applicants' references before inviting them to meet us. The idea was to have only the very top contenders actually appear in our apartment for an interview. At the end of the process, I called everyone we had met to thank them for coming and to let them know that we had hired someone else.

We offered the job to Sherry (not her real name) two weeks before the end of my leave, and she started work the week before I went back so that I could get to know her, get her familiar with Daphne and with our neighborhood. I'm happy to report that she is working out great. She is very reliable and upbeat, likes Daphne very much (the feeling is mutual) and seems to be enjoying herself. She last worked as a live-in babysitter in the suburbs, and appreciates being less isolated in the city, where there are around 40 babysitters with their charges at the park three blocks away at any given time. Because of her, Daphne has an active social life Monday through Friday, hanging out with neighborhood kids whose babysitter Sherry has befriended.

So it is back-to-work time for Mom. My overarching observation is that returning from maternity leave is not as easy as returning from a vacation. My head has been entirely elsewhere for three months, and as it turns out, the world went on without me. Inevitably my colleagues have had to step in to fill in the gap my absence created, which leaves me feeling a little encroached upon during the first few weeks. The 'I was on maternity leave' excuse for not being quite up-to-date works for about two days. Then it is sort of expected that you pick up where you left off.

There are a few new things to discover too. For example, who knew that a 'Lactation Room' existed in the office? I bring my pump and my paraphernalia down once a day. Whereas at home I detested pumping - found it tedious and unrewarding - it can actually be a decent break from the workday. I have become adept at balancing my newspaper on my lap while holding the plastic cups in place. As there is no kitchenette on my floor, the first day I had to walk around the office, my bottle of pumped breast milk in hand, making inquiries about the whereabouts of a refrigerator. But now that I've found one, the whole process is fairly discreet. As soon as I walk in the door of our apartment at the end of the day, the bottle of milk goes straight into the refrigerator for tomorrow's lunch. Then I smother Daphne in kisses and tell her how much I've missed her.

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