PREGNANCY DIARY VOL. II: ANNOUNCING THE NEWS

By Ellen Seidman

I thought that announcing I was pregnant was going to be a really, really happy event. And for the most part, it was. Both sets of parents were ecstatic, naturally, and plenty of my pals literally shrieked. But telling friends who've had trouble conceiving made me feel terribly guilty, especially when it came to one close pal who I knew was going to pepper me with questions about how long Dave and I had been trying. The truth is, we got pregnant within two months of my going off the Pill. But I told her that we'd been going at it for a while (what are white lies for?) and, thankfully, she didn't ask for specifics. The worst was when I was chatting with a colleague and I offhandedly said, 'My best advice to you about getting pregnant is, don't think it won't happen right away!' She burst into tears; turns out she had been undergoing fertility treatments for months. God, did I feel lousy. And at the same time, lucky. So lucky.

My pants are getting a bit tight -- no surprise, considering I'm in my fourth month. My old roommate Sonja gave me a bunch of maternity wear. Thing is, she's about five-foot eleven and I'm five-foot two. I could sweep my floors wearing her pants, and her shirts are like dresses on me. I just so don't feel like spending money on fat clothes; I'd rather blow it on baby stuff. I know I'm going to go nuts shopping, all those little outfits are just out-of-control adorable, especially the girl clothes.

We've decided not to find out the baby's sex; when people ask what we're having, we just say, 'A surprise.' I figure it's an added incentive for getting through labor. My doctor knows the sex now that I've had an amnio, and it's making me a little crazy that it's HER secret, not ours; sometimes, I hope she'll slip up and say 'she' or 'he' when we're discussing the baby. Amnio was unnerving -- not so much the process itself (having someone shove a long needle into your belly is certainly a freaky feeling, though not painful), but worrying about whether it hurt my pregnancy. The night after the amnio, I did have a couple of cramps that scared me but once two days had passed, I knew everything was OK. And the baby is healthy. Funny how you can get so attached to something that's the size of a kidney bean.

Lately, I've been having severe sushi withdrawal symptoms. When Dave and I go out for Japanese, I order veggie rolls though he worries that they're cut by the same knife that touches raw fish. He's probably right but hey, I can't live my life in a bubble. I'm definitely not going to be one of those moms boiling her baby's pacifiers.

Yeah, right.

Ellen Seidman is currently editor-at-large (and getting larger and larger) of Glamour magazine. She has written for many magazines, including Redbook, Fitness, Parents and YM.

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